May 27, 2013
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The first ears to hear
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the effect social media has on us. One of the most interesting ways it has affected my thinking is the concept of real, valid, pertinent, and concrete information.
We’ve all heard the phrase “It’s now Facebook official!” We laugh about this, but think about it for a second. Consider the way that information traveled before the advent of social media…Xanga (to a lesser extent), Myspace, and now Facebook and Twitter. I remember dating back then, or deciding where to go for summer camp, or taking pictures of vacation. Sure, sharing information was much more limited. I had to show people pictures in a book, or make a phone call to share news. People didn’t know who I was dating unless they saw me out somewhere and asked, or heard from someone else.Now it’s all instantaneous information. I break up with my boyfriend and as soon as brave enough to change my “relationship status”, all 856 of my friends know, without me saying a blessed word about it. It does seem very cold to me, that people know about babies and divorces and people moving while losing the human element of a phone call. While instant information is a very valuable tool, I feel that it’s hurt us a lot in these ways. Do you really *know* your family? I find out what my cousins, nieces, and nephews believe by seeing them post on Facebook. Sometimes I’m shocked at what I read, yet I’m too wimpy to confront people in “real life”.Who do we tell, first? If I ever (haha!) were to get engaged, I don’t think I’d want to just plaster pictures all over Facebook of my ring until I’d called my mom, my grandma, dad, brother and sister-in law, aunt/uncle, etc. I feel that they deserve the respect of being the first to know. Such precious information is a gift to those who hear it. The same thing with miscarriage and death. It is most appropriate to share deep grief with our families, first.I found myself very convicted when thinking about this. How often do I blather my pains, hurts, hopes, snappy jokey-jokes, quips, emo status updates, and observations all over the internet… without first sharing them with the One who cherishes my heart the most? I’ve been stabbed through the heart before while writing on Twitter. I am so quick to share with the world what should be hidden, and so quick to hide from God what He most wants to heal. I have been in such dire emotional pain, specifically regarding relationships with people…and turned my face from the Lord who cares for me and will give me comfort and healing. Why do I turn to a silent “audience” for help? My help comes from the Lord.Guard your heart. Share with your friends, yes, but don’t short-change the human experience. (I’m preaching to myself, here). Give God what is due God. Remember that God loves his children, and go to Him first with the thoughts of your heart. I think it will help me to grow spiritually if I can do this, and also guard me from further hurt.
Comments (8)
This was convicting for me to read…especially about going to God first with my doubts and hurts to “vent”, and gain perspective.
Good Evening, Amy from Starbucks where I am typing this while my wife and single daughter are out shopping or walking having fun. I chose this and Xanga over being with them for the simple reason—they have lots of fun together and drop me off a coffee shops anyway-at least I am where I want to be.
My wife firmly believes that the Social Media using PCs, I-Pads, Cell Phones, Messaging, texting, Face book, etc is a tool of Satan and has hurt families.. She says these methods and devices are ending personal contact. She likes email despite her feelings on all of this, but she misses meeting with people in person or even talking on the phone.
I am the opposite. I like privacy and using the internet for Xanga, listening to sermons on line, and using my Mini-I-Pad to read the Bible daily.
I have not had the relational problems that you have had. I think break ups are among the most painful in life and I know it hurt you badly and deeply.
Wishing you a good new week.
frank
I think online social networks should be viewed as just another way to communicate with others, albeit on a more impersonal level. I completely agree that it shouldn’t replace things like talking in person, talking over the phone, text, email, etc. It’s just another method to add to a growing list. I know a few people who got engaged this past year, and I believe all of them made phone-calls to loved ones first. That seems right to me. If I have big news to share, I want to share that news in a personal way to the people I’m closest too. Maybe I’ll share it with a larger audience too, and, if so, facebook is great for that. My rule for birthdays is: closest friends and family members should get a phonecall (or meet in person if I’m in the same city and not overwhelmed with work); good friends should get a text; and friends should at least get a facebook wallpost.
I actually love that I can keep up with a lot of people from various stages of my life from a distance. I don’t have the time or energy to stay good friends with hundreds of people, but it’s always fun to see what different people are up to and how their lives are progressing.
I don’t post anything on Facebook. I’m here on Xanga for the privacy. I can vent here without the worry of getting someone feelings hurt.
I really don’t post personal information very often on facebook. I do sometimes on xanga but it is usually already known by the people closest to me long before I would post it on xanga.
When I began blogging I had a lot of emotional baggage……I didn’t expect anyone to read it…….but they did…..then I sought out fellow Christians by entering bible verses into the search engine……and I built and network……years later, I’m without the emotional baggage due to people who helped me gain perspective……the down side was that I was inspired to help my mother have a computer…and once she saw that I was working out my problems online…….the crap hit the fan…….and it did hurt my relationship with her and any she could get to rally around her…….but the thing is, I think those people would have been hurtful in the future as they had been in the past anyway……..but you are right, my dad prefers a status to a phone call about things and that hurts my feelings……..since I am a stay at home mom and I don’t network out in the world very much…….we live in a small town and there’s not much in the way of gathering places and the churches already have their cliques decided, I find social networking has been a good thing for me…….I have friends on here I would never have the guts to talk too in person because I would consider myself beneath them socially or financially……..and frankly, I don’t think they would approach me in person either.
word of mouth is how I get my news
I completely agree with you and share the same views. The pattern of sharing of information has indeed undergone a drastic change with the advent of social media. It is a boon for the society. Besides disseminating personal information and feeling to a selected group of friends, it keeps us updated about the happenings in the society which could not be found in mainstream media. But we should be cautious to share our personal information and pictures on social networking websites as they could be misused by some miscreants.
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