Month: June 2013

  • The extent of my amazing awesomeness on a Saturday night

    Party with my cat (who is taking a nap next to me).

    Watching Star Trek: TNG.
    Texted like 5 people, no one has texted back.
    An ex called me.  I ignored it.
    Someone on FB messaged me and asked for another ex’s phone number.  What the heck?  There goes not thinking about him for a few days.  
    I need to work out today, but I haven’t.
    I got up at 7:30 this morning to drive an hour to rehearsal.  I started feeling lonely on the way back.
    I took a killer nap.
    I really wish I could go dancing.  
    I am prone to melancholy.  
    I am blogging about being melancholy.
    Melancholy = pathetic.
    You know you are jealous. 
    The end.  
    Ended up going to @Jenny_Wren ‘s house.  
    Gosh that girl is nice.  She gave me tea and sympathy (and some ice cream) :)  

  • Depression vs. Eating disorder

    Would you rather:

    Have an eating disorder or severe depression?  
    Definitions: 
    Eating disorder – where your every waking moment is consumed with thoughts of food, what you’ve eaten or not eaten, and how to control it.
    Severe Depression – Depression where getting out of bed is near impossible some days, life doesn’t seem much like living often, and you feel nothing can be done about it.
    Gosh, what a downer question, huh?  

  • Afraid

    I have a weird personality when it comes to stress.  If there’s an email or phone call that I know will cause me stress…I will avoid it.  Or a person.  Or a conversation.  Or a picture of someone in my room.  I’ll just cover it up…not throw it away.  I’m terrible like that.

    I’ve been avoiding coming on Xanga because I have this deluge of weird emotions with everything that the possible shut down or change implies.  I’m afraid.  It’s paralyzing me.  

  • Cinnamon

    When you get very sad, and are tempted to look back and cast your wishes on the past, 

    Remember…
    -You might only get 3 wishes.  Spend them very wisely.
    -Your ex is your EX for a reason.
    -People who leave you freaking left you.  Often on purpose.  There is a 100 point deduction for leaving someone alone.  Do you *really* want them back?
    -You might miss the most beautiful smile you’ve ever seen because you were looking back over your shoulder. 
    Spending time near the greatest source of truth I know, tonight.  My silly heart likes to bleed all over itself, leaky murmuring valves and all.  Be gentle with yourself.  Sometimes it helps a lot.