There is an ugly rumor floating around about introverts. It's one we cannot escape from, at least not at this day and time, because he who yells loudest gets heard. We are believed to be quiet, shy, meek, boring, and all the things we may appear to be to the roaring crowds out there. While we may sigh in frustration at this stereotype, we also gleam inwardly because we know the truth. In introverts there is a deep, rich pool of understanding and warmth. We truly enjoy life especially in it's blessed stillness. We don't shout about it. We don't proclaim it from the mountaintops. We just live it.
I was really excited to go to a new coffee shop this morning that I've been eyeing for years. (Yes, years. I'm slow. It takes me a while to change pace and try somewhere new). I have been by a few times in the last few days, and finally felt peace about going in for my morning Bible reading/journal/introspection session. All the times I've been by there has been a peaceful, calm atmosphere and lots of positive energy in the place. So I went in today and ordered some oatmeal and coffee, set down my huge ESV Bible and other books on a small table for one. And I was happy. It was short-lived.
Enter large Hispanic family. Their ethnicity matters for no other reason than the cultural, and for the fact that they were speaking Spanish (rather loudly, I might add.) Mexico, so I gather is like the USA in that it favors and expects extroversion. Families are loud. Conversation is abundant. Life is celebrated. Were they go, they take the party with them. That culture blends well with American culture for the most part.
So I became the only one in the room not willing to party. I said a prayer, tried to compose my thoughts and concentration, and stared at the same page for about 5 minutes. But it just didn't work. Too loud, too much, and involuntarily processing words I hadn't thought of since high school Spanish class. I finished my food and sadly left for my car to finish my coffee at home in peace and quiet. What went wrong, here? Was I indignant and full of a bad attitude? No, neither. I simply was pushed out of my element and preferred to ruminate elsewhere.
Introverts aren't what people expect. We are quite the opposite. Where the culture around us expects forte, we are piano. They want brazen, are are muted. They love flashy neon, and we are pastel. Does this mean we are mild, weak, milquetoast? A thousand times, NO. I am one of the most opinionated people you will meet. I am told that I'm like a warrior-princess, that I will stand up for my beliefs even when people want to burn me at the stake. I start fires and don't put them out. I state things in no uncertain terms. But I like my quiet. Weird, huh?
Introverts see the world in a certain light. We believe that the utmost respect you can give another individual is to let him have space. In that space he is most free...free to create, dream, write, imagine, believe, idealize, breathe...to be himself. When we don't talk or yell or blare music, we are really showing a respect for that which we hold sacred. That is why we don't fill empty space with words. That is why we love a quiet coffee shop.
I love to talk; don't get me wrong! I can talk your ear off if you get me started about politics, theology, coffee, period costuming, pro-life issues, sewing, American history, or how much I love my cat Zorro. But I won't talk just to talk. I talk to find meaning, to connect, to explore the richness of the world. I talk because I've already mulled over these things in my head. I talk because I have something to say. So when I don't talk, it's not because I'm boring or shy. It's because I genuinely don't want to waste time, space, or breath filling a beautiful silence with my idle words. An extrovert might feel that if nothing is being said, that nothing is going on. Quite the opposite. There is a marathon run in my head for all of my waking hours. So much goes on, that the silence is welcome. That is why I tire easily of large groups of people. Conversations I don't want to be a part of abound, and it tires me to take it all in. (Studies have shown that introverts actually have more constant brain activity than extroverts. We are always on. No wonder extraneous stuff tires us!)
I think introverts and extroverts can learn a lot from each other about mutual respect and understanding. Just because someone is loud doesn't mean he's shallow. And just because someone is quiet doesn't mean he's deep. There is middle ground, and we must share a world. Think twice before blaring your stereo in a quiet park. And be nice to someone who strikes up an unwelcome conversation while your headphones are in. There is so much beauty in the world to be shared, and we can't learn it all from our side of the fence. Take a moment and look at those around you. What do they need? Share a little, nurture yourself, and live with your fellow man.
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