Never ending diet
What she says
Monday, 14 May 2012
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Last day of recitals at my public school. Bitter sweet.
3 more days of teaching at my private school.
Then off to Houston for about 5 days, then back here for a few more weeks of church job.
Then cruise.
Then all summer in Houston.
Plus whatever else comes along.
Life is changing. Hold on.
Sunday, 13 May 2012
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Ave Maria - Bach/Gounod
I sang Ave Maria at church today :) This is a video taken from the 2nd mass. I hope you enjoy.
This is at an Anglican church. I'm not technically Anglican, but I've been singing at the church for a year and a half now. Everyone is so nice, and I love the formality of it. The organ music is great, too :)
This is the Bach/Gounod version of Ave Maria. Most people think of the Schubert version, which is also beautiful, but done so much that it can get old. I like this version. There is another version that I like but could never find the music. We did this song today in honor of Jesus' mother for Mothers' Day.
Thursday, 10 May 2012
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Obama's daughters punished with a baby
He said, it not me! -
In the beginning, man created God in his own image
In the beginning, man created God in his own image...
Wait, what?
Yes, that's right. Or so many "Christians" would have you believe.
After thousands of years of Christian history, and thousands of years of Jewish history before that, modern man has decided, in his infinite wisdom, that the Bible is archaic and we need to remake God in our own image.
We can take out the parts that might offend someone...such as that sex outside of marriage is wrong. Or that God is just and righteous and does not permit sin to enter Heaven. That isn't palatable to us, so let's just scrap it. God is only loving and kind and sweet. He's good, but not so good that He's holy. Sin is okay by him. I mean...after all, what is sin but a mistake? And he'd never punish anyone for making a mistake. Except Hitler, of course.
In fact, God is so sweet and kind that he might even be a woman. And Jesus never said anything offensive to anyone...He (or is it She) taught a message of love and tolerance for all. He/She just walked around giving hugs and kindness and telling everyone good messages on how to be kind and bring social justice. He/She was so good and kind and never offended anyone so much that people were offended enough to kill Him/Her. It must have been the evil Hitler type people back then, because people are basically good (except Hitler, of course). People are so good that everyone will go to heaven. Except Hitler.
In fact, Jesus died a needless death because there are all kinds of ways to heaven. You can be a Jew, Muslim, or Hindu because we all pretty much worship the same God. Jesus dying for "sin" must have been a mistake. Everyone can just get along, right?
Until someone rapes your daughter or kills your son. Then what? Who pays for that?
Who fixes that problem? What becomes of the soul that sins? Are they basically good? Are people in categories depending on what they've done? What about the people who have wronged you? What about...
you?
God gave us the Bible. The further we stray from it, the more ridiculous things become. Please do not claim to follow Christ if you don't believe the record we have about Him and His life and death.
Wednesday, 09 May 2012
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The journey none can share
I'm making a journey this summer, here in just a few weeks. I haven't talked about it much. I contemplate it every day. On the surface, it might appear just fun. Or frivolous. Or silly. Or a really good idea. I've had all these thoughts, and more. To me, this journey is deeply personal, and I hope much good comes of it.
As you might know, I'm in a long distance relationship. The distance between us is about 250 miles, and takes 4 1/2 hours to travel. We see each other every 2 weeks on average, for a few weekend days. It's not much. We talk on facetime every night and pray together. We've been dating about 7 months, and met online. One thing about long distances is that they expose things in you that physical touch can cover. Like clinginess. Or resolving arguments with cuddling. Or being playful. It's like holding up a big magnifying glass to things I use to avoid resolution of my being upset.
And I get very upset sometimes. I have major issues, guys. I'm not just saying that...I really do. Maybe everyone does, but I do for sure. And I'm me...so I only know the intimate workings of my disgusting heart. Being so far apart from Chad has exposed some of that, as well as some differences in personality and how to handle things. I see growth. Small, almost imperceptible at times, but growth nonetheless. And it hurts. Good growth always does.
So here in just a few weeks, when I'm finished with school, church, and other obligations...I'm packing my car full of clothes and books and my laptop and tooling down to Houston. I'll be living in a barn. Yes, you heard that right...a barn. But it's a really nice barn :) It's a show barn with a two bedroom apartment built over it...nicknamed after Patrick Swayze because he stayed there often. I won't have much income unless I can find a few students (which Chad says he already has found), and I'll be helping Chad with a few household things (laundry, cooking, cleaning). I'll be training some more to be a chiropractic assistant so I can help him. I'll have internet, and books, working out, writing, and a few crafts if I can scrape money together. And prayer...lots of prayer. I need to work out the kinks in myself. I'm too stuck to this comfort zone.
Perhaps it's a leap of faith. I want to be with him, to see where our relationship will take us. I know he's not magic and doesn't have all the answers. But he's kind, good, and loves God. And I need to step away from my comforts that are holding me back.
Wish me luck ;)
Thursday, 03 May 2012
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Why preach sin?
There is a pretty disturbing trend in churches nowadays. Huge ones, too...huge and successful, as defined by many. This trend is to downplay sin, eliminating words like hell, condemnation, judgement, repentance, guilt, etc. This is quite dangerous.
Why? Because if our sin isn't important, there is no need for a savior.
Let me put it another way: If we aren't sinners, and just make bad choices, then Jesus did not need to die for our sins. If God sent His Son to die for our sin when he didn't really need to...then God is a cruel jerk who killed His Son for no reason. Either sin is important enough for Jesus to die, or it's not important at all.
I'm all for living a good life, having smooth marriages, good kids, a nice job and house and car...and good times. But lets be honest, if that's what church is teaching, then leave Jesus out of it completely. He is too precious to be reduced to a provider of a good life.
Sin Kills. Jesus saves. Jesus died a literal death, and saved us from a literal hell. If there is a hell, don't you want to hear about it? And avoid going there? So what are these pastors doing, who downplay sin? What are they gaining from this (probably money and power, but that's a topic for another day)?
If you are a Christian, think with me for a minute. When was the last time your pastor taught from the Bible about sin and repentance, and how Jesus won our forgiveness on the cross? Do you hear that week after week, or do you hear things about having a good life, getting more money, being never sick or lonely, and having a good marriage or sex life? If you aren't hearing Christ preached...Him crucified and resurrected, what is the point? Life change is not repentance. Being forgiven of your sins is not the same as living a good life.
“If your sin is small then your Savior will be small also. But if your sin is great, then your Savior must be great.” - Charles Spurgeon -
I feel love!
I'm feeling loved today, and loving. I want to hold up a sign on the street that says "free hugs". Do you think that would be counter-productive?
I know there are many times I've wanted a hug from anyone, or a smile, or a listening ear. But could I trust a stranger? I dunno.
There are so many Xangans I want to hug. There are so many who don't want to hug me, but a lot more who do, I bet. I wish I could show people that I still am a loving person even though I don't buy into the world's idea of love being "anything goes", as long as it's what they think is ok. I think homosexuality is wrong. I have gay friends. They know my views. I still love that. Isn't that a lot more mature than me changing my views in order to not offend them? I think sex outside of marriage is wrong. Many of my friends/family don't. I still love them. I don't lie to them, though.
Mature love doesn't side step the issues. Mature love always hopes, always protects...never fails.
I will not fail you, my friend, by stuffing Jesus out of the way in my heart.
I will not fail you, my love, by giving in to what I believe is wrong.
I will not fail you, my heart, by weakening my resolve to stand up for truth.
I love you, Xanga. I will love you like crazy, I will compliment you, invite you, I will tell you what you mean to me. And I will tell you the truth.
That is love.
God is love.
((((((Free hugs))))))
Tuesday, 01 May 2012
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False Valse
Parted from my heart
hope demanded candor.
It stings,
but just for a squalid moment.
then all is clean
White even, but blinding
the scent is between this morning's tea and
new shoes
The world can close around your wound
Shifting between blame and acceptance
Calm and choking
air and promise
Cut me;
I bleed the color you crave
Scarlet or crimson, if you prefer
a red word spoken
an object into the night air
from lips which sting for a moment
propelled clean
to your waiting and hungry heart
While I slip to anorexic dreams
Thinning now into hot sheets
cutting dollar store craft glitter
I'd mistaken for stardust -
Please pray
Please pray for @xx_iwannawwiiromance_xx and @veronica_leigh . Their father passed away quite suddenly yesterday, and they are both young girls in their twenties now without a daddy.
Thank you.
Tuesday, 24 April 2012
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Snoqualmie Falls, stitched in time
A found a few pics of Chad at a waterfall that looked very familiar...
Snoqualmie Falls in Seattle, Washington.
He was there in 2010, and I visited in 2009. This was before we met. So I merged the pictures together.
And there you have it :) A wrinkle in time? Somewhere forever, never lost, found in his arms.
My heart is so yearny today.
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Musics
TrueSpring Goals
1. Get back down to a size 6
2. Housewife 101 training
3. Maintain steady workouts.
4. Talk to God first before anyone else.
5. Love Chad in my conversation.
6. Listen to good podcasts.
7. Read more books.
8. Spend more time outdoors.
9. Take vitamins everyday.
10. Keep my house clean.
11. Get some sunlight everyday.
12. Share the gospel.
About Me
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I try to be someone who serves and honors Christ with my day to day life. Every ounce of current and future hope I have is bound up in my faith in God. I am painfully aware of my many imperfections, but am very very glad that Christ loves me enough to cover all that stuff for me.
Site Policy
I love comments and welcome visitors. However, I reserve the right to delete comments which are disrespectful, inappropriate, or use profanity. You are welcome to your opinion, but please be civil. Thank you!
Subscriptions
Pulse
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I think I'm going to start unsubbing people who rec posts with blatant profanity (F word, etc.)
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Respectfully dissagree with a liberal? You get cussed at and told to leave her blog.
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Male drama queens are worse than female ones. Especially those who preach "kindness" to all but a few they hate.
You should read these
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weblog entry from Semper_medusa
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comment from
QuantumStorm -
weblog entry from CecilliaMarie
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weblog entry from SpokenThruScott
Themes
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My dear letters
Lace, vintage, letters, and a rose. -
Under the Night Sky
It's a nice sky tonight! -
Lucy and the Lamp Post
Always Winter and never Christmas.
