October 29, 2013

  • 1776 clip

    Here's a little clip from the show I did this summer.  I love this music and everything about the show.

     

October 26, 2013

  • Birthday resolutions

    Yesterday was my birthday.

     

    I had a great day.  With that day, I had some thoughts.
    My life is very different than it was a year ago.  I'm on the road, now...doing things I love.  I don't always share everything like I used to, and that's okay.
    Things that are meant to be shared will be shared, and some things aren't ready yet, or are too personal, or too sacred.  All in good time.  All in God's time.

    Some resolutions I want to struggle with:

    1. Keep my online presence clean.

    I don't mean not doing "dirty" things.  I mean that I only want to post things that are thought-through, thought-out, ready to be said, and meaningful.
    I'm done with political memes.  Even seeing them (on BOTH sides) makes me sick at this point.  You cannot take complex, multi-layered ideas and reduce them down into a two phrase text imposed over a picture of some political figure making a face.  It further cheapens this country.  I think Facebook has made it all the worse.  People are ignorant of the real issues and only relying on memes and hearsay to determine what they believe.  Not good.  I don't want to be this way.

     

    2.  Do something meaningful everyday.

    Think a new thought.  Build on; add to it.  Create something.  Try to further my career.  Work on my body.  Clean my mind.  Write.  Pray.  Sing.  Speak good things to people.  These are all meaningful and don't require an overabundance of commitment.

    3. Find new ways to connect, and new ways to disconnect.

    Invest in people, and not in technology.  Technology needs to be a means to connect with people, not a way to throw pearls before swine.  Look up from my phone.  Look people in the eye.

    4.  Be okay with how things are.

    Live in the moment while maintaining my morals and standards.  Every day, every moment is a gift from God.  Learn to treat all moments with respect: even nasty ones.  Don't wish we had done better.  Live fully with the choices we've made.

    5.  Work on the craft.

    So much of acting is observing, imprinting, recreating.  I need to spend more free time with working on my art.  I need to be always working on a monologue.  Always ready for auditions.  Always trying to find new ways to jump in.  This is what my life is missing.  I could be on a roll...let's go!

     

     

    These are just some thoughts.  I'm sure I'll add to it.  I love lists, don't you?

     

     

October 2, 2013

  • With death

    I'm officially giving myself permission and understanding to not be 100%.

    I've barely cried, on this 4th and final grandparent funeral. I think I've cried twice in the whole week plus that it's been, now. I'm dealing with it, somehow. Too much family stuff to deal with; it complicates things and gets in the way of the actual grieving for the person who has died. I'm trying to be better. I'm trying...

    But I'm not thinking clearly. I'm tired. My body hurts and isn't responding.

    I'm going on tour in a month. I need to lose at least 5 lbs. I need my body to work. I need to be well.
    I'm not there yet.

September 21, 2013

  • I am really craving some old school surveys

    Been arrested? no
    Kissed someone you didn't like? yes
    Slept in until 5 PM? no
    Ran a red light? yes
    Been suspended from school? No
    Experienced love at first sight? no
    Totalled your car in an accident? yes
    Been fired from a job? no
    Fired somebody? no
    Sang karaoke? yes
    Pointed a gun at someone? yes
    Had a gun pointed at you? no
    Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? Yes
    Caught a snowflake on your tongue? yes
    Kissed in the rain? yes
    Had a close brush with death (your own)? no
    Seen someone die? No
    Played spin-the-bottle? no
    Smoked a cigar? no
    Have a tattoo? No
    Sat on a rooftop? yes
    Smuggled something into another country? yes
    Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes? no
    Broken a bone? no
    Eaten a bug? yes
    Sleepwalked? no
    Walked a moonlit beach? yes
    Rode a motorcycle? yes
    Dumped someone? yes
    Lied to avoid a ticket? No
    Ridden in a helicopter? yes
    Shaved your head? No
    Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? yes
    Eaten snake? yes
    Marched/Protested? yes
    Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? yes
    Puked on amusement ride? no
    Seriously & intentionally boycotted something? yes
    Been in a band? yes
    Been on TV? yes
    Shot a gun? Yes
    Skinny-dipped? yes
    Gave someone stitches? no
    Ridden a surfboard? No
    Drank straight from a liquor bottle? yes
    Had surgery? yes
    Streaked? yes
    Taken by ambulance to hospital? no
    Passed out when not drinking? yes
    Peed on a bush? no
    Donated Blood? no
    Grabbed electric fence? yes
    Eaten alligator/croc meat? yes
    Killed an animal when not hunting? yes
    Peed your pants in public? no
    Snuck into a movie without paying? no
    Written graffiti? no
    Still love someone you shouldn't? No
    Been in handcuffs? yes
    Believe in love? Yes
    Sleep on a certain side of the bed? yes

September 20, 2013

August 4, 2013

  • My gag is nothing but the finest silk.  My heart cannot be contained.

    It races for the devilish thoughts I dare to let slip.
    My mind is a million variations on a theme.
    I've crossed the bridge away from my Norman Rockwell life.
    I realize there is no one to please, save One.  And what is this from His hand?
    He is my dearest Husband, yet.  Trust Him I will.  Hand in hand we walk down this path, but I have no idea where.  Kind of like normal, but this is so very different.  
    I'll let you in on a secret:  It's okay to be not normal.  I've been doing it for quite a while now.  Chapter and verse, Amen.

July 29, 2013

July 27, 2013

June 9, 2013

  • The extent of my amazing awesomeness on a Saturday night

    Party with my cat (who is taking a nap next to me).

    Watching Star Trek: TNG.
    Texted like 5 people, no one has texted back.
    An ex called me.  I ignored it.
    Someone on FB messaged me and asked for another ex's phone number.  What the heck?  There goes not thinking about him for a few days.  
    I need to work out today, but I haven't.
    I got up at 7:30 this morning to drive an hour to rehearsal.  I started feeling lonely on the way back.
    I took a killer nap.
    I really wish I could go dancing.  
    I am prone to melancholy.  
    I am blogging about being melancholy.
    Melancholy = pathetic.
    You know you are jealous. 
    The end.  
    Ended up going to @Jenny_Wren 's house.  
    Gosh that girl is nice.  She gave me tea and sympathy (and some ice cream) :)  

June 4, 2013

  • Depression vs. Eating disorder

    Would you rather:

    Have an eating disorder or severe depression?  
    Definitions: 
    Eating disorder - where your every waking moment is consumed with thoughts of food, what you've eaten or not eaten, and how to control it.
    Severe Depression - Depression where getting out of bed is near impossible some days, life doesn't seem much like living often, and you feel nothing can be done about it.
    Gosh, what a downer question, huh?